I’ve kept ideas in the shadowed corners of my mind not ready to look at them because I know how much work realizing them would be. Since the new year I feel like my energy has gone direct, I am slowly but surely crossing things of my To Do list one day at a time. I enrolled in Adult ED classes at a community learning center in my neighborhood, focusing on science and math.
I’d never taken any scholastic tests until the process of enrolling in these classes. After doing serval tests to track where I was at in relation to the GED, the teacher said, “you are very smart, you just need to brush up on math and don’t feel bad because math is a learned skill.”
As simple and probably obvious as that reassuring statement may seem, hearing it made me tear up.
For so long I had resisted the idea of pursuing any sort of higher education because I knew I’d need to be tested, what if I did badly? what if it turned out I wasn’t smart?
In my heart I know standardized testing and the idea of a standardized intelligence is deeply flawed, so why then would I let the possibility of not doing well paralyze me?
I am not taking this “not smart" insecurity any further, I am leaving it behind.
Thank you to everyone who left such encouraging feedback on my lest post! I love and appreciate you <3